New Vistas Opening Ahead...
Today my massage took me to new levels; I feel more supple than in a long time... Each day there are new assisted stretches added to my 'routine' by my massage lady with the gentle energy and the strong touch...
I could feel how much my body has let go, always letting go...! But more has released in this Thailand trip, the tropical climate, this strange unfamiliar land with its magical unfamiliar energy; the heat, the jungle, the creatures... spider, snake and monkey, strange sea like a special balm, the steep climbs, the Thai massage and the sickness, the fevers....
And I am changed...
Since last December I have been letting go of my work in the way I have known it for so long, working with people, face to face.
I was running along a beach in Costa Rica last December, 2013, and I said to Anadi, the time has come to let go of the way I am working...
Not much changed when we returned to the UK, and my working patterns continued in the same way as before we left...
In February last year Anadi and I married in St Lucia and I re-committed to my plan of letting go; I even made a little film to appear when my website was visited, to say thank you to all my clients...
Clients that span nearly forty years... I started working with people when I was seventeen years old. There has been a stream to my door ever since; the way I have worked has evolved and deepened over the decades, but the format has remained the same; I am in my 'room' and wherever I have been the people have come to find me...
And I have loved it; enriching wonderful exchanges with so many people who have given me the greatest honour of trusting me...
Many years ago, about twenty now, I can remember my friend David saying to me 'I think you have come here (to planet earth) to experience being fully in a relationship with a man.'
I dismissed his words then, I had just emerged from my first or maybe my second marriage and I wanted to be free!
But I now hear his words with different ears, and I believe he saw something in me I was running from then...
The constants throughout my life have been my running and my work with people... I have run all my life and I have worked with people for almost as long...
The other constant has been the men!
At one time I was described as a 'serial bride' by my running club friends...!
For those of you who don't know my relationship history before I met Anadi... I lived with six men, (not all at the same time!) married four of them, was engaged eight times (albeit briefly sometimes!) and received thirteen proposals of marriage...
This seems to point to the evidence that there is certainly something I have been trying to 'work out' !!
We all did the best we could at the time, the men in my life and me. A rich life I have lead, full of exploration, engagement, exploring, intention for the best outcome... I hoped for babies too, but they were not to be...
Last year just before Anadi and I flew off to St Lucia to marry, we were at a family party in Scotland... Anadi was meeting most of my family in one go for the first time!
It was a wonderful evening and as we left two of my relations, not unkindly, said to Anadi
'Good luck! Do you know how many times she has been married...'!
And the other... 'I hope we DO see you again...'!
Anadi was un-phased...
He is a very very unusual and wonderful man; when we met and first made love, he said that he 'saw me' and knew that he had found the person he had been looking for...
And so now I hear David's words with renewed understanding, and my heart and soul know that I must 'throw my lot in' with Anadi, let go of my life as I have known it... Allow my gifts to be shared in new ways, expressed in whatever way this might be now...
All has been emerging as we set off together on this adventure, this journey of conscious living, opening to whatever emerges in every moment and trusting the step in front of us..
And so a year on, I have fully let go... At the end of this month, I am stopping working with people in the way I have known, no more Skype sessions, no more working in my familiar way, even with technology having allowed my 'room' to be the planet...
I am journeying with Anadi, seeing where that takes us, writing each day, and running....
My soul still calls me to the running road; new vistas opening up ahead to explore in each running step...