I Took The Day Off Running...
The young doctor would be...
a) impressed
b) surprised
c) delighted
Tick which ever one your think fits!
I took the day of Running!
This blister of mine has grown in size, it has spread to the the arch of my foot and beyond; it hurts!
I covered it with Compeed - hurrah - and I am leaving it to get better... I decided running would aggravate it....
Anadi and I have been talking deeply, and at length in our last few runs, all quite long distance - 15 miles, 9 miles, 12 miles... We have used the distance, and the time to explore areas we felt we might be holding on, afraid or stuck....
Each of us has now developed a very sore spot on our feet (me left, him right!) making running hard, so we both took today off...
And we had a sacred space date booked this morning anyway...!
We agreed that the processing we have been doing as we run, has emerged into the physical... And that it is now clearing through... A rest day to allow that happen felt a good thing.
My blister was giving me no trouble until Sunday, and I sustained it a couple of weeks ago...
I have just checked out the reflexology chart and the deepest blister, red and sore is right on the kidney reflex, which is often associated with fear.... Left foot 'issues' are also said to be to do with 'fear of the future or not wanting to move forward'
Our fears and our issues can be very deeply within us. I am not consciously aware of feeling fear, but I am acutely aware how skilled we all are in the western world of being 'fine'.
"How are you?" "I'm fine thank you"...
I have been committed to clearing and shifting all the 'stuff' within me, accessing and releasing fear and pain and hurt for as long as I can remember - and yet I know how much the deeper stuff hides in the corners....
I first understood the value of 'therapy', and that it was possible to clear the anxiety, and the tension, fear and hurt within us when I was fifteen years old... Which was unusual to discover then, 1974....
I was struggling with OCD - which showed itself through a worry I was going to damage things in shops if I so much as touched them! This resulted in me buying many cards and magazines and pieces of fruit I didn't acyually want due to the 'obsession' that I had damaged them, and so must buy them! It got extremely stressful when I touched the leg of a table worth a few hundred pounds in a furniture shop....
It also manifested in me having to say things exactly and accurately - completely truthfully! This also caused much stress, ( and ironically of course, the issue stemmed from stress...) and resulted in going over and over a 'story' to make certain it was accurately reported!
Rosy's and my mum was ill and dying at the time, which in retrospect possibly accounted for much of this tension...
I knew I needed help, and so I went to see Dave Eaton, my curate at church. He was amazing with me, he took me very seriously and spent a lot of time working with me on what I now know is transactional analysis - he drew circles to show the parent ,adult and child within me and helped me to access the harsh parent voice ever present in my psyche ...
He gave me the lifeline of his phone number, so that if I was really trapped in my head, I could call... I only did this once, from a call box, and he helped me release the tension myself....
And so I learnt that we can heal ourselves.
I learnt that the inner tensions and pain will show up some way or another. Therefore it is important to keep doing our inner work, and then it is easy to follow the path that opens up in the step, and the next, and the next...
I learnt this young, and I have never stopped travelling the inner road to reveal what will be revealed on the outer realms...
And so today, after our lovely date, we worked until lunch... And then ate lots of salad, tzatziki and fried zucchini with parmasan...
I let go of running very easily and enjoyed the unfolding day...
'I love our sacred space' I said as we mopped up the olive oil and balsmic with fresh bread... 'it is making me so happy'... It is allowing the space and time for more of me to express, more time for us to just be, even though we share so much time together...
There is something different in clearing away everything except the space between us for a few undisturbed hours...
We did however fill some of the space and time, with eating strawberries in honey and Greek yoghurt!